Please note that this blog is now being posted on my new website at: http://www.birthingyourlife.org/cherionnas-blog/
All things change! I have appreciated being able to communicate with you via this blog. Now, I invite you to join me in a slightly different context, where I continue to intend to support you in your own challenges and transitions in life...
Thank you for reading my blog. I look forward to hearing from you in the future and hope my posts can continue to be beneficial for you.
with gratitude and newness,
Cherionna Menzam-Sills, PhD
Cherionna's Blog
Welcome to my blog!
We find ourselves in challenging times. To meet them more easily, I believe involves challenging ourselves to move beyond old, established habits and patterns.
Perhaps I am a bit late fully entering into the 21st century by starting my blog now, in 2010! In that my work and message has so much to do with slowing down and settling into a deeper knowing beyond and prior to our cultural modes, it may be appropriate to step extra slowly into the world of blogging and other cyber realities.
Perhaps I am a bit late fully entering into the 21st century by starting my blog now, in 2010! In that my work and message has so much to do with slowing down and settling into a deeper knowing beyond and prior to our cultural modes, it may be appropriate to step extra slowly into the world of blogging and other cyber realities.
I suspect that, if you are drawn to my blog and the words here, you may also value this slower, deeper state we are all capable of. I invite you to read on and regularly, and hope the words below can support you in enhancing your ability to be, even in the midst of all the doing required in our modern world.
Wednesday 1 March 2017
Friday 11 November 2016
Living in Interesting Times
I have heard there was an ancient Chinese curse
that went, “May you live in interesting times.”
In researching the origins of this saying, I came across not only some doubt as to how ancient or authentically Chinese it is, but also, remarkably at this time, a reference to Hilary Clinton having used it in her autobiography! (http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/12/18/live/ accessed November 10th, 2016)
In researching the origins of this saying, I came across not only some doubt as to how ancient or authentically Chinese it is, but also, remarkably at this time, a reference to Hilary Clinton having used it in her autobiography! (http://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/12/18/live/ accessed November 10th, 2016)
"There's an old Chinese curse, 'May you live in interesting times,' that became a running joke in our family. Bill and I would ask each other, 'Well, are you having an interesting time yet?'"
What seems indisputable is that we do, indeed, live
in interesting times, not necessarily in ways you may have hoped or expected
them to be interesting!
As I write this, people across the world are
reeling in shock at the outcome of the American elections two days ago. It
seems that no one, not even Trump supporters, expected this outcome. Whatever
your political leanings may be, it is possible that you are part of this
international shock wave!
We have entered a new phase of the unknown. How
does that affect you? A common reaction to the unknown is fear, but other
feelings may accompany it.
For me, there have been powerful waves of sadness,
as well as shock. I feel I have witnessed a loud exclamation of the fear
impulse through this election process. Living in the UK, I am only too aware of
this coming on the heels of another shocking event, when the recent referendum
here initiated Brexit. How much change can we tolerate?
In the midst of the news shocks, I observe an
unexpected flowering of the plant in my kitchen. I return to my ongoing
enquiry: How can I meet what arises with an open, compassionate heart? I share
this question with you now.
As the unknown raises its face before ours, we are
forced to see what may have previously been in shadow. We must find our balance
again as the waves of political or other storms increase their force. How
firmly can we rest, even in these moments, in a resilient foundation of love
and compassion?
For me, my Continuum Movement practice and
meditation practice help me maintain or access equilibrium. I return to the
stillness at the heart of the storm.
As I observe the voices of bigotry, ignorance,
fear, violence and hatred rising, I am reminded of advice received many years
ago. You may have heard it, too. It goes something like this: If you are faced
with bullies, powerful or potentially abusive or dangerous people, try seeing
them as toddlers in diapers.
We were all little once. Our little ones continue
to live within us. They may or may not have received the support, protection,
love, reflection, acknowledgment and appreciation they needed back then. Where
they were not adequately received and held, their needs persevere, continuing
to seek what they need in every interaction. This is true for the big, powerful
politicians, as well as everyday people just doing our best to live our lives.
How can we acknowledge and meet these little ones now?
I find my little one resonating with the fear in
the larger world field in these times. Remembering that I have already survived
my childhood, I acknowledge her fear, hold her tenderly in my heart, and feel
the love hormone, oxytocin, growing within me. From this place, I can breathe
more easily into my heart, and send the loving, healing intentions out to those
on the planet less able in this moment to access this natural, essential state
of love and being.
I can only hope this practice benefits the world,
facilitating peace, health and happiness for all beings.
How do you cope with these interesting times?
* Please note that this blog will be moving to my new website at www.birthingyourlife.org. Please visit my new site and let me know how you find it!
Wednesday 28 September 2016
Heart Softening in an Upset World
Sadness welling in my heart
Being with compassion, present to lives so squeezed by old
and new pain, breath is barely possible.
Each day, more sad news streams through the world.
Can I soften my heart even in the midst of these streams? Can
I rest in trust, in love, in knowing, this, too, shall pass, and humanness
continues as it always has? And if it doesn’t, what can I make valuable with
this one and precious moment of aliveness?
This is life, this moment. This is all I know.
This emerged in my daily writing the other
day. In the midst of so much upheaval and change around the world, so much
meaningless violence, so much hatred, racism, bullying, and resistance to
immigration, how can we be?
I feel the tension around my heart as the
daily news stimulates fear. With some effort, I remember. My practice is to
soften my heart in relation to whatever may arise, intending heart-centered
presence, just being.
Then I remember more. I recall what happens
in a Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy session. First, as practitioner, I support
the settling of our relational field through orienting to the health, the sense
of resource and support, and how that feels in the body. In the midst of all
the challenges, disappointments, illness, death and loss, etc., etc., can I
find a way to rest? What supports me in being with what is? I ask my clients
this question. And so I ask myself.
I have a strong practice that supports me
in being able to be
present. I have learned that I can be with just about
anything. Even as I receive the news that yet one more person in my life is
dying of cancer, I can breathe, remember my body, sense the support of mother
earth under my feet, recall the love I feel, share and receive with those close
to me in my life, remember how I have survived, and even thrived, in reviewing
past challenging events in my life.
With all of this, it becomes easier to
soften my heart, but this requires feeling it. I must listen, and be willing to
listen, to what my body is telling me. The squeeze in my heart has a message
for me. I cannot deny the pain, the sadness it carries. It cries. I cry. I
allow the tears to flow, even while feeling the containment of the earth. I
allow my body to move in flowing ways, offering it the breaths and sounds I
find so helpful from my Continuum practice.
Any of these ways of resourcing not only
support me in being able to be with challenging moments, but can also enhance
my clients’ ability to be present with what arises, including with our
relationship within the field of the treatment session.
A Craniosacral Therapy session can be
intensely intimate. The client may feel like a tiny infant or child lying
supine on the treatment table, with the therapist hovering over. It is
essential to acknowledge and respect the vulnerability of this position. It is
too easy for a therapist to assume the client knows this is a safe
relationship. Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to help! And it may be obvious on a
conscious level. For the little one within, however, there may be fear. There
may be unconscious, shadowy memories arising in the body. There may be old
emotions being touched by the current moment, like the depths of sadness I feel
upon hearing about another person I know dying.
This is not just about this moment. It
touches on other losses I have experienced, not only recently, but even as far
back as when my twin died in the womb. Even beyond that, I am aware of the
sadness and fears my mother carried along with me in her womb. Generations of
loss, fear, violence, etc. due to cultural conditions trickle through as
cellular communications. My little body grew within my mother’s womb fed by a
toxic mix of ancestral terror. How do I find trust in this moment with that cellular
trail still informing my consciousness?
The question really comes down to how
willing am I, or any of us, to be with what is present? I don’t need to understand
it all, although insight naturally arises as we are present with what is. What
I do need is to be able to yield into the fields within fields of support that
are available to all of us, balancing the influence of fields of trauma and
challenge.
I could go on at length in this vein. For
now, I want to invite you to join in this investigative journey. What is
present for you as you read these words? How is your breath? Does it need your
attention? How is your heart in this moment? Can you feel it? Is it tight and
achy? Is it soft and full? And if it is aching, what would it take for it to be
able to soften? What needs attention, holding, support, in order for you to be
able to settle more fully into the gifts this moment has to offer?
Tuesday 16 August 2016
An Experiential Enquiry into the Energetic Nature of our Bodies
I am intensely focused just now on completing editing my book, The Breath of Life: An Introduction to Craniosacral Biodynamics. As part of this writing process, I have realized that I am writing as a female in a field lacking female authors. I have challenged myself to consciously write from a feminine perspective, which I have come to see as including intuition, creativity, and direct body-based experience. The book includes experiential explorations, largely inspired by my other passion - Continuum Movement. Please enjoy this excerpt, and I'd love to know how it affects you!
It is not unusual to experience the
body as a solid, physical structure. This is, after all, what we were all
taught in school, if not before. We cannot walk through walls, and it can hurt
to try. At the same time, we live in a world where the mind of science is
shifting. While we have all learned about the rules of gravity and how to
operate in a Newtonian state, we have also been exposed to revolutionary
declarations from the world of quantum physics assessing all things as being
aspects of one continuous whole. As David Bohm wrote, “relativity
and quantum theory agree, in that they both imply the need to look on the world
as an undivided whole, in which all parts of the universe, including the observer
and his instruments, merge and unite in one totality. In this totality, the
atomistic form of insight is a simplification and an abstraction, valid only in
some limited context.” (Bohm, 1980, p.13).
We seem to be beings of light and
space, rather than the solid forms we tend to see and feel. For example, cell
biologist Bruce Lipton points out that we can only see each other because light
photons bounce off of the energy of the otherwise invisible human body (Lipton,
2015). Apparently, our bodies compose themselves from used stardust, that has
arrived on earth after stars have died or galaxies exploded (Schrijver and
Schrijver, 2015).
Clearly, there is some mystery involved
in our bodies in that they appear physical but consist of energy and light.
Rather than attempting to explain further this phenomenon, which we directly
perceive in Biodynamics, I would like to guide you in a brief exploration of
this matter (pardon the pun) through your own body experience. If you are
curious, please settle yourself in a comfortable position and lets begin the
journey! You may want to record these instructions in your own voice to enable
you to explore with your eyes closed, if you find that helpful, but this is not
necessary.
Take some time to get comfortable in your
seat. Notice what sensations inform you in this process. Now, let yourself
include one hand in your awareness. Take a moment to squeeze and open this hand
three or four times, really letting yourself feel the muscles working and the
tissues contracting and expanding. What are those sensations like? Does it feel
hard or soft? Warm or cool? Tight or loose? Tense or relaxed?
Now,
slow down the movement. Let yourself orient more to the sensations involved in
moving than in the end goal of making a fist or opening your hand. As you slow
the movement down, how do your sensations change? Do you sense them only in
your hand, or do you sense anything being affected elsewhere in your body? You
may begin to have more of a sense of flow, of ease, of fluid wholeness, where
more of your body is involved. There may be a sense of energy elsewhere in your
body, or perhaps a wave moving from your hand up your arm and through your
chest. Your head and neck may begin to want to move, or even your feet. Let
yourself be curious, slowing the movement down more and more.
After
a few minutes of exploring this more fluid state, let the movement slow down
even more, so it becomes more about stillness than movement. Let your focus be
more on the space between your fingers and around your hand than on the micro-movements
of the hand, itself. What are the sensations like now? It is not unusual in
this slow state, with a wider field of orientation, to begin to feel like your
hand is not so physical. It may begin to feel more like energy, suspended
within a larger field of energy. Notice how it is for you. When you feel done
with the process, or no longer interested, come back to the sensation of your
physical hand and body, and look around to orient yourself.
Chances
are, if you explore this repeatedly, you will find yourself experiencing
increasingly slower movement, with an enhanced energetic awareness. If you stay
with this, you may even begin to find some familiar aches and pains dissolving,
as a kind of inherent treatment plan spontaneously emerges and healing ensues.
We have entered now the mysterious realm of Biodynamics! Welcome!
Wednesday 18 May 2016
Healing Power of Presence
Every time I sit with a client , supervisee or student, for
therapy or mentoring, individual or group, in person or via Skype, I am touched
by the power of simple presence. I do have years of training in various areas,
but the most important tool I use in my work is being present.
The relationship between therapist and client has been shown
years ago to be the most essential element in determining therapeutic
effectiveness. As the practice of mindfulness has spread, I see the potential
of our presence enhanced.
For me, the there have been several essential portals into
presence emerging from my training and personal therapy over the years. Talk
therapy enabled me to begin developing insight into my own reactions to what I
encountered in my relationships. With insight, I began to be able to step back
and make new choices, or at least be more aware of what I was doing.
Studying Somatic Psychology and Dance/Movement Psychotherapy
enabled me to start living in a more embodied way. Along the way, through my
own somatic therapy experiences, I encountered limiting, traumatic aspects of
my personal history that had been held in my tissues to protect me. Working
through these wasn’t necessarily easy or pleasant, but I began to find myself
emerging from a life-long state of dissociative mentality. This process had
started, interestingly enough, through having suffered a brain injury while
engaged in my then favorite hobby of folk dancing. One would think this to be a
safe activity, but when my partner and I were tripped by a stray foot and my
head bounced on the concrete floor, my life changed.
I had always been highly intellectually and verbally
accomplished. I used to love word games like Scrabble and Boggle. After the
concussion, the words simply didn’t flow as they used to. Sometimes, they
seemed to be hiding behind a foggy screen, inaccessible and useless to me.
What’s more, my memory for details seemed to have smashed on its collision with
the floor that day. I could no longer buffer my ego with my intellectual prowess.
From my writing you might conclude that these skills have returned to me, which
fortunately is mostly accurate. My way of being in the world, however,
permanently shifted when I could not function as I was accustomed to.
During my time in graduate school for Somatic Psychology, I
attended a class with a remarkable woman called Dee Coulter. I remember
gratefully hearing her explain that most of us at Naropa University, the
Buddhist inspired school I was attending, were trying to achieve a way of being
which is natural to people with brain injuries. She spoke of our gut sense and
how, without being able to depend on our brains for information, people with
brain injuries follow their guts.
Indeed, I found my intuition developing dramatically after
the brain injury. I also began to return to the creative, artistic talents I
had largely ignored since starting university at eighteen. Finding my work as
an Occupational Therapist taxing for my newly struggling brain, I took two
years off to take a Commercial Ceramics course, eventually becoming a studio
potter.
How does all this relate to presence? Well, have you noticed
that intellectually analyzing others often doesn’t do much to enhance your
relationship? Mentally figuring things out can make us less present, and this
is felt by whomever we are with. Our relational connections depend more upon
our heart and senses than our intellectual brain.
As Stephen Porges, originator of the polyvagal nerve theory,
elucidates, we sense each other through what he calls the social engagement nervous
system. Things like eye contact, the tone of a person’s voice, and facial
expression communicate directly to important brain centers to inform us about
the people with meet. Are they safe to be with? Is there a sense of resonance
between us, or dissonance? Through mirror neurons, we can have a felt sense in
our own bodies of the other person’s emotional or behavioral experience.
Thinking about what is happening may be less helpful than sensing it. This is
non-mental form of receiving the other, and is considered a likely basis for
empathy.
My brain injury seemed to support me in letting go of my
intellectual mind enough that I could start to listen and respond on other
levels. I don’t recommend this particular method of letting go, but for me the results have been highly supportive of being present. Fortunately, there are gentler ways of
liberating ourselves from oppressive thought patterns. Mindfulness practices are
particularly helpful in this journey.
Mindful Presence
For me, I embarked on an intensive practice of Vipassana along
with somatic therapy, which helped
me to come into body-centered awareness. Vipassana
is a meditation involving attending to breath and body sensations with an
intention to develop awareness and equanimity. I didn’t know the word
equanimity when I started Vipassana, but I have since come to revere this
quality of being with whatever arises. I see equanimity as a way of considering
everything as equal, rather than judging one experience as better or more
desirable that another.
While we do need to live with preferences, it can be helpful
to be aware of where these come from and make choices based on that awareness. Without
awareness, we tend to act unconsciously and habitually, often re-enacting our
trauma history or acting in ways to avoid it. You may say, of course I don’t
want to re-enact my trauma! Why shouldn’t I avoid it? I agree that re-enacting
trauma isn’t useful, but avoidance often means we shut down the flow of life
energy. In terms of presence with another, it translates as withdrawing or
reacting if the other person expresses something that reminds us, even if not
consciously, of the trauma. We are then that much less present, as well as
often feeling miserable within ourselves.
Practicing awareness and equanimity enables us to be more
aware of what is arising for us and to not have to react in our habitual ways.
Recent research suggests that we are actually rewiring our brains through this
kind of mindfulness activity. We stop reinforcing old, destructive pathways and
establish new, supportive ones. Being less reactive, we can be more present
with whatever comes our way.
Coming Into Being
The final, essential aspect of this journey for me has been
Prenatal and Birth Therapy. I was introduced to Pre- and Perinatal Psychology
through my studies in Somatic Psychology. I learned that we are unlikely to come
into body awareness without encountering our earliest experiences recorded
within the body. For many of us, these primal, pre-verbal events were
overwhelming and traumatic, at least in part because of modern, western
birthing practices.
Little ones in the womb and later are astutely sentient
beings. They sense and marinate in their parents’ emotional lives during these
highly formative early years. Historically, babies have been considered as cute
objects (e.g., medical jargon refers to “the product of birth”), to be kept
clean and fed. In the process of taking care of physical needs, however, the
emotional, psychological needs of the pre-born and newborn infant have been
largely overlooked.
That little ones have an immature nervous system doesn’t
mean they are unaware or not learning. It indicates a need for slow pacing
allowing them to process and integrate their experience. Although they do not
speak, babies clearly understand tone of voice and often the content of what is
being spoken. Addressing them with gentle sensitivity helps them feel safe so
they can settle and arrive more fully.
For those of us who were not welcomed with that kind of
sensitivity, new learning can happen through prenatal and birth therapy,
emphasizing presence, recognition (vs. denial) of what happened, reassurance,
and unconditional acceptance. Within a safe, reflective relational field, such
as was needed back then, we can learn about being received in the way we
physiologically expected as little ones.
Our neurobiology shifts with this therapeutic experience,
helping us emerge from a defensive mode of being, feeling like running away or
finding ourselves dissociating before we know what has happened. Personally, I
had learned to live in my head. My intellectual prowess had protected me from
feeling the painful feelings from my early years. As I descended into my body,
the feelings arose.
Fortunately, trauma therapy has evolved in recent years, in
large part thanks to Peter Levine’s work with Somatic Experiencing. We now
understand the importance of slowing down our pace in being with trauma,
touching in with it from a resourced state of presence, rather than diving in a
getting lost. Again, this slower, gentler approach changes our neurobiology, so
that we don’t have to cycle through our trauma patterns again and again.
This is the basis of my passion for all the forms of work I
engage in, including Continuum Movement. This mindful movement practice is
characterized by slowness, designed to interrupt old patterns and enable new,
creative responsiveness. Similarly, Craniosacral Biodynamics involves slowing
down, settling deeper than our everyday activity, resting into the support of
universal forces supporting us within a ground of dynamic and alive stillness.
These practices inform all the work I do, where I settle myself and support my
clients or students in resting into the present moment.
Slowing down is an important key to presence. When I move or
act with speed, I am more likely to act by habit, unconsciously. Slowing down
brings choice, generated by awareness. This is the essence of therapeutic
presence and its healing potential.
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